The Melancholy of Zack Fair
by Clouds Panties
Summary: Zack Fair is the most eccentric student North High School's ever seen. Cloud Strife sits behind him, and gets dragged into his "projects." Eventual Zack/Cloud with side pairings; mild Haruhi Suzumiya crossover.
1. Chapter 1

_This is the first time I've actually posted here... I've been writing for a long time but when I started writing and posting this, I decided I should put it here too for easier access to all the chapters. _

_So, that aside! This chapter's quite short because I was getting going and it just seemed like a good stopping place. I didn't want it to get so long that it felt like a chore to read the whole chapter! Basically, I was inspired when I heard about The Gender Bend of Haruhi/Haruki Suzumiya and this is what became of that idea. **There will be spoilers.** **There will be yaoi, and probably a touch of yuri.** If it squicks you, leave while you can. _

**I don't own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, the gender bent version of said series, or Final Fantasy VII.**

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Zack Fair was the most eccentric student at North High School. Cloud knew; he sat in front of him.

On the first day of class, Zack had declared that unless you were a slider, esper, alien, android, time traveler, or some other kind of mythical, supernatural, or highly technologic being, he wasn't interested in you, much less dating you. As soon as he'd said that, the students who'd went to middle school with Zack started spreading the word about his dating habits there. He'd dated anyone who confessed to him, no matter the gender. Inevitably, they broke up in a short span of time. The rumor was that the shortest was a few minutes, the longest about a week.

The students familiar with Zack also spread the word about the odd things he'd done in middle school. The most talked about was the "desk incident," in which he made a wall out of all the third years' desks in the middle of the night. Coming in at close second for most talked about was when he'd painted crop circle replicas and chocobos all over the school roof and gym. Needless to say the principal had known Zack quite well.

He always wore dark blue DJ headphones the color of the night sky around his neck. He seemed to be aware of the color resemblance, as he'd pulled them off one day and painted the Milky Way on the left earpiece in white-out.

During the first week of school, he'd changed the style of his long hair every day. On Monday of the second week, he showed up with it cut short.

All of the teams and athletics clubs wanted Zack to join them. He was exceptional at sports and gave them each a try, but quit after a day. When he did the same to all the clubs and declared that no club was interesting to him, Cloud made his fatal mistake.

"So make your own," he'd suggested, thinking Zack wouldn't take it seriously.

He did.


	2. Chapter 2

_With this chapter, they get longer! I can't promise updates you can set your watch by, but I will try to see to it that I don't go more than two weeks without an update. I've changed a few things around from the original Haruhi Suzumiya plot to better suit the FFVII cast, since I didn't want it to be too terribly OOC. Enjoy._

**I don't own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, the gender bent version of said show, or Final Fantasy VII.**

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Cloud found out about Zack's new club in a rather peculiar (and violent) way.

The day after he'd suggested starting his own club, Zack yanked the collar of Cloud's uniform jacket so hard his chair fell back and the blond hit his head on the desk behind him.

"I've got it! The answer to all my problems is to start my own club!" Zack told him excitedly.

"That's great," Cloud grumbled, rubbing his head and putting his chair back where it belonged.

"You don't sound very excited."

"We're in the middle of class."

All eyes in the room had turned to the two of them the moment Zack had bashed Cloud's head into his desk. As Cloud signaled that the discussion was over by sitting back down, the students all directed their attention to the teacher once again. It was just Zack being Zack, no cause for concern. Except maybe that Cloud might have a concussion.

At their next break, Zack grabbed Cloud by the tie and dragged him to a secluded stairway, nearly choking him. If it hadn't been for the taller boy's vice-like grip on his tie, Cloud probably wouldn't have been able to keep up. He could see why the track team had nearly had a collective break down when he didn't join the team.

"Cloud, you're gonna help me start the club! I'll find the room and members; you fill out the paperwork, okay?"

"What kind of club is this going to be anyway?"

There was silence for a moment as Zack appeared to be in deep thought before answering. Cloud could almost see the gears turning.

"Dunno!" he said with a smile, shrugging.

Cloud sighed and slapped his palm against his forehead. Of course Zack didn't know.

"I'll find a room by the end of the day, so don't go home!" Zack told him excitedly, and then ran off down the stairs, presumably to find said room. Cloud just sighed and shuffled off to retrieve the papers.

The end of the school day brought about a repeat of Cloud being tugged off by his tie. Zack seemed considerably more excited this time as he dragged his smaller friend to a room clearly labeled "LITERARY CLUB."

"Zack this is the –"

"Club room!" Zack interrupted, opening the door and shoving Cloud in.

As Zack explained just what this room was, Cloud looked around it. The room was small and dusty, like it hardly ever saw any use. It looked a little… scruffy to Cloud, but as long as it kept Zack happy and out of his hair, he didn't much care.

"So all their third years graduated and this guy's the only person left!" Zack told him, resting his hand on the shoulder of a rather large second year. He'd been quietly reading the entire time the dark haired boy had been babbling, and didn't spare them a glance even when mentioned.

"Are you sure it's okay to just use this room?" Cloud asked, a little worried about pissing off such a big upperclassman.

"Yeah! I asked him at lunch, and he said it was fine. Just as long as he can keep reading, he doesn't mind. Kinda weird…"

Cloud wanted to say something, but held his tongue when the older boy looked up and moved his glasses a little.

"Angeal Hewley," he told them, then went back to his book.

"You really don't mind if Zack uses this room for… whatever it is he'll be doing?" Cloud asked.

"No."

"We'll probably disturb your reading…"

"Doubt it."

"What if we run you out?"

"That's fine."

As Cloud stood there dumbfounded, Zack grinned triumphantly and clapped his hands.

"It's settled! This'll be our new club room! Meet here starting tomorrow or I'll hunt you down."

Cloud didn't doubt that he would.

As soon as the last bell rang the next afternoon, Zack got up, grabbed his bag, and ran out of the classroom to get to the club room. Cloud sighed, and followed at a much slower pace. To his surprise, the only one in the club room when he got there was Angeal.

"So… what're you reading?"

The second-year held his book up, but didn't say a word.

"LOVELESS, huh? So you like dramas?"

"My friend does. I decided to read it to better understand him."

Cloud smiled, but it looked rather pained. As Angeal went back to reading and Cloud moved to sit down, the door burst open.

"Sorry I'm late! It took me a while to drag her here!"

Zack dragged in a girl in their year with long brown hair. She looked confused as she examined the room around her. Behind her, Zack was locking the door.

"Why are you locking the door?!" she demanded, sounding like she was definitely a firecracker.

"Shhh," Zack cooed, placing an arm around her shoulders. "Let me introduce you! Cloud, this is Tifa Lockheart! She's a first year in Class 2. Tifa, this is Cloud."

After a beat of silence, Cloud decided to be brave.

"So… how did you meet Tifa?"

"I found her alone in the library! I was looking all over for members and she looked kinda lonely, so I brought her here!"

"You practically abducted me!" Tifa protested, looking ready to punch Zack out.

"Same thing." Zack waved her off, then smiled brightly at her. "So, are you in any other clubs?"

"… Martial arts."

"Quit that and join us!"

Tifa looked between all three of the boys, looking like she was thinking hard about it. It was rather hard to be accepted as the only girl in the dojo, much less a well-endowed one…

"Okay. What is it you do in the Literary Club then?"

"Oh, this is just some nameless club of Zack's," Cloud explained. He was already starting to like this girl. She was feisty. They'd be good friends.

"It's not nameless! From now on, this club is called The Spreading Happiness All Over The World With Zack Fair Brigade!" Zack corrected excitedly. "SOF Brigade for short!"

Cloud and Tifa just stared, unable to find the word to describe the sheer idiocy of the club's name. Angeal simply quirked an eyebrow and went back to reading with an amused smile on his face. It was going to be some year.


End file.
